Friday, January 31, 2014

How to Screw Up a Magazine Cover, and Possibly Your Career

Step One: Obscure a mundane word like Where in such a way that it not only insults your cover model but also might make the average reader1 hesitant to be seen in public with a copy of your magazine.

There is no Step Two. Extra bonus points, though, if you’re employed long enough to make the same mistake twice:

The more we think about it, the more likely it seems that Orange County Whore2 magazine would sell a ton of copies. It’s tough to start a magazine from scratch, though. Our editorial staff has spent months trying to solicit articles from potential contributors, but they keep getting arrested for it.

1. Possibly not including the particularly well-read hooker.
2. We’re thinking the full title will be Orange County Whore: News and Views for the Discriminating Hooker. Classy, eh?


  1. This is a magazine that would be worthy of my attention.

    1. We wouldn't recommend it—subscriptions are awfully expensive. We suggest Slut Magazine instead. They give it away for free!