A Summary of the X-Files Episode You're About to Watch on Netflix

“Hey Scully, check this out: it’s another case that regular FBI agents won’t touch,
with all sorts of creepy occult / monster / alien abduction / mythological overtones.”

“I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for what’s going on here, 

Mulder. I hereby propose a sensible theory based on science, logic, deductive 

reasoning, good old-fashioned FBI investigation, and a rational 

understanding of how things actually work in the real world.”

“I hereby propose a ludicrous theory, full of magic and lunacy, 
that sounds like it was beamed directly into my brain by
paranoid conspiracy theorists from Planet Bullshit.”

“Have it your way, Mulder. I’ll bet you another year’s worth of
unresolved sexual tension that your silly theory won’t pan out.”

“You’re on. Let’s get to work.”

 

 

“Better luck next week, Scully.”

“Pardon me, but there’s something we need to talk aboot. I must

tell you crucial information that will serve my nefarious purposes and seem 

to answer all of your questions, but won’t actually make a lick of sense.
. . . or perhaps I'm here to kill you. May I come in?”

“Suit yourself, I was just leaving. Oh, and Mulder? 

You’re sleeping alone until at least season seven, smart guy.”

“Crap.”