Friday, January 31, 2014

How to Screw Up a Magazine Cover, and Possibly Your Career

Step One: Obscure a mundane word like Where in such a way that it not only insults your cover model but also might make the average reader1 hesitant to be seen in public with a copy of your magazine.

There is no Step Two. Extra bonus points, though, if you’re employed long enough to make the same mistake twice:

The more we think about it, the more likely it seems that Orange County Whore2 magazine would sell a ton of copies. It’s tough to start a magazine from scratch, though. Our editorial staff has spent months trying to solicit articles from potential contributors, but they keep getting arrested for it.

1. Possibly not including the particularly well-read hooker.
2. We’re thinking the full title will be Orange County Whore: News and Views for the Discriminating Hooker. Classy, eh?

Saturday, January 11, 2014

This is Why Your Auto-Spellchecker Is Not Enough: Special Yearbook Edition

In order to keep private citizens from unnecessary embarrassment, we’ve chosen to pixelate the face in the above photograph to protect the identity of the poor, unfortunate kid who, thanks to this little mishap, has been revealed to be a complete Nazi son of a bitch.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Cat Friend vs. Dog Friend

Courtesy of some guys on the Internet.

Interestingly, in real life, when talking about literal dogs and cats, we’d much rather live with dogs than with cats, and not just because we’re allergic to cats but also because they tend to be assholes.

However, if our options were to live with Cat Friend or Dog Friend, we would probably opt to burn the house down and move to another city rather than live with either of them. We’d probably get along better with Horse Friend. He’s a messy pooper, but he lives in an entirely different building nad I have to deal with him only about once a day.