|At press time, authorities had unearthed nearly 2,500 more potential victims, |
and are on the lookout for suspects dressed in black and described as “sad.”
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
“Be excellent to each other.”
—Abraham Lincoln, San Dimas High School, 1988
1. According to an unknown but now legendary American student that, for all we know, may actually have existed.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Friday, January 31, 2014
Step One: Obscure a mundane word like Where in such a way that it not only insults your cover model but also might make the average reader1 hesitant to be seen in public with a copy of your magazine.
There is no Step Two. Extra bonus points, though, if you’re employed long enough to make the same mistake twice:
The more we think about it, the more likely it seems that Orange County Whore2 magazine would sell a ton of copies. It’s tough to start a magazine from scratch, though. Our editorial staff has spent months trying to solicit articles from potential contributors, but they keep getting arrested for it.
1. Possibly not including the particularly well-read hooker.
2. We’re thinking the full title will be Orange County Whore: News and Views for the Discriminating Hooker. Classy, eh?
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
In order to keep private citizens from unnecessary embarrassment, we’ve chosen to pixelate the face in the above photograph to protect the identity of the poor, unfortunate kid who, thanks to this little mishap, has been revealed to be a complete Nazi son of a bitch.