Saturday, May 3, 2014

Great Quotes from Non-Famous People





Overheard before a football game between University of Southern California and Notre Dame, with the above motto displayed on the TV:



“‘Play like a Trojan today.’ In other words, stretch out for a couple of minutes, and then fail ten percent of the time.”
—My brother



Saturday, April 26, 2014

Happy 450th Birthday (within Two or Three Days), William Shakespeare!

If William Shakespeare were alive today, he’d be 450 years old, probably senile as hell, and stuck with a blinking “12:00” on his VCR. Why not celebrate this by reading something that will make you smarter and more aware of the rich, deep, wonderful world around you?

For some of us, that could be accomplished by reading the side of a cereal box, a grocery-store receipt, or a thirty-year-old back issue of Ranger Rick. For almost everybody, though, you can get smarter by reading something awesome by William Shakespeare, that guy we mentioned in the first paragraph!

What’s that, you say? Which play should I read? We’re sorry, but we’re not interested in doing all your work for you. Make a decision yourself, why don’t you? Or at the very least, make the decision to look at the nifty flow chart below and let it do the thinking for you.

It should expand and actually be readable if you click on it. If not, you can find it at Goodreads, where the folks are much more internet-savvy than we apparently are.







Saturday, April 12, 2014

Irony, Illustrated




What we like about this photo is that the two signs—the one endorsing English and the other butchering English—were quite clearly written by the same hand. Presumably the little girl’s.

Friday, April 4, 2014

This Just In!









For centuries, mystics and con men the world around have sold the hopeful and the gullible on their own pie-in-the-sky version of life before death. This sensationalist article notwithstanding, we don’t see any reason to believe in life before death, for Princess Diana or anybody else, without being presented with incontrovertible proof.

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Always Be Yourself

Everybody you know at the moment may be convinced that you’re as cool as can be:



 . . . but somewhere out there, somebody out there remembers you when you weren’t:




Be yourself. Accept your inner Cowboy Curtis.



Saturday, February 22, 2014

This Just In!



At press time, authorities had unearthed nearly 2,500 more potential victims,
and are on the lookout for suspects dressed in black and described as “sad.”

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Irony, Illustrated





If you want to get technical, we will be forced to admit it’s possible that this fellow is protesting the stupidity of the Moran family, whoever they are. But you’d have to be a moran to believe that.