Bowling in the Dark's Hero of the Day: Richard Heene

America’s fascination with heavenly spheres took a shift towards the dramatic over the past weekend, moving from Meghan McCain’s impressive bust to the skies above Fort Collins, Colorado, where authorities were told that six-year-old Falcon Heene had climbed into his father’s homemade high-altitude helium balloon shortly before it became untethered in a potentially tragic and 100%-believable made-for-TV event that couldn’t possibly serve to advance the agenda of any sort of narcissistic parents obsessed with landing themselves a reality TV show.

Young Falcon was later discovered to have not made it onto the balloon—which ended up touching down near Denver International Airport, some 90 miles from where it took off—in the first place, to the relief of all involved. It is quite likely that Bowling in the Dark, nearly four days after this thrilling event, is the very first blog to comment on the compelling scene, but all we have to say is that it’s quite a relief to see these genuine and loving, completely well-adjusted parents reunited with their un-manipulated children, safe and happy after this dramatic and completely non-fabricated adventure.

Much Ado About Twitties

Where were you when you first heard about Meghan McCain's backlash against those who criticized her for showing some cleavage on Twitter? Go to her Twitter page. Miss it? So did I, until Some Guy turned me on to it. When it comes to spotting the heavy-hitting cleavage issues that define our era, they don't come much better than Some Guy! Anyway, Miss McCain is all aflutter about her tweeters causing such a firestorm, initially threatening to stop using Twitter (the horror!) then backing down and simply being indignant.

Where to start? Well first of all, when did it become a crime for a sexy woman to look demurely sexy? Gazongas are nice, and no one will ever make me change my opinion on that. The more boobs in society the better, I've always said. Women, go ahead and show them as much as you want. Especially you Meghan - they look pretty good.

The real issue here is Twitter, and the self-righteous people who follow "celebrities" on that site. Yes, I just used the written form of those annoying quote fingers in the air. Deal! The "celebrities" that people follow, from the intelligently interesting to the spectacularly loserly, do not care what you think. Why would they? They use the site as a publicity vehicle, that's it. Do you really care what Dane Cook is doing at any particular moment? Please open the door and find a new life somewhere out there if you really do.

Further, I suggest it is the height of hypocrisy for such celebrities to mundanely post on Twitter whatever they are thinking at the time, posting TwitPics of whatever they want at the time, and then later becoming defensive when some people choose to dislike what the celebrity put out there. Twitter is just the latest technological expression of the ego, and does it better than anything previously invented. Grow up "celebrities", stop putting your life out there like dirty laundry for the public to see and your neighbors to complain about it. At least if you do, stop complaining about it.

I like the twitties, not the Twitters. We need way more of the former, and many fewer of the latter. And yes, I realize that the second-best outlet for the ego is the blog. Self-loathing is on the menu for later, although if this was all about my ego wouldn't it not be anonymous?