An Apology from Some Guy

I had a tough time sleeping last night, and it wasn’t because my lovely and demented—er, devoted—future wife, Some Gal, was fidgety; I think she was out before she even hit the pillow. What was bothering me, I decided, was that I’d done something as shameless and lame as posting something written by some other writer, and my conscience—or, more accurately, the haphazard collection of misguided impulses and uninformed, illogical notions that I cobbled together to replace my actual conscience, which ran for the hills a long time ago—tweaked me for it.

Yeah, sure, I didn’t try to pass Sagan’s writing off as my own, and it was clearly a well-written and intriguing piece from a gifted writer, but still I worry that I’ve disappointed the legions of Bowling in the Dark fans who flock to this site at a rate of dozens per decade to read original content—the half-formed pearls of half-assed wisdom from Some Guy and his esteemed colleague, the Squid Bandit—not the warmed-over albeit insightful and even potentially moving musings of the brilliant, famous, and/or dead. From now on, if you want to read Carl Sagan’s thoughts, go check out his blog instead.¹

So, for those of you who have stuck with Bowling in the Dark through its trying but thrilling month or so of existence, thank you, and my apologies for letting you down.² It won’t happen again.³

I would also be remiss if I didn’t take this opportunity to apologize to my bestest pal ever, the English language, for failing to notice that the word “flashlight” in our banner was misspelled for almost twenty-four hours. There’s no excuse for this kind of bullshit. Sorry, buddy.

NOTES

1. Good luck with that. Sagan may be a better writer than I am, but at this point in our careers, I’m a hell of a lot more prolific.
2. Unless, that is, you didn’t notice, don’t care, or approve. In which case, you can take my apology and stick it.
3. I am lying.