This is Why Your Auto-Spellchecker Is Not Enough: Special Yearbook Edition

In order to keep private citizens from unnecessary embarrassment, we’ve chosen to pixelate the face in the above photograph to protect the identity of the poor, unfortunate kid who, thanks to this little mishap, has been revealed to be a complete Nazi son of a bitch.

Cat Friend vs. Dog Friend

Courtesy of some guys on the Internet.




Interestingly, in real life, when talking about literal dogs and cats, we’d much rather live with dogs than with cats, and not just because we’re allergic to cats but also because they tend to be assholes.

However, if our options were to live with Cat Friend or Dog Friend, we would probably opt to burn the house down and move to another city rather than live with either of them. We’d probably get along better with Horse Friend. He’s a messy pooper, but he lives in an entirely different building nad I have to deal with him only about once a day.

This Just In!

Shit! My horoscope was right!

Raising the Debt Limit (Explained)

Congress has agreed to a budget for the first time since 2009. We’d praise Congress for this accomplishment if it weren’t one of the most basic elements of their job—much in the same way that we don’t typically gush all over a plumber who managed to avoid blowing up our house.

Still, we’ll take what we can get . . . and in this case, what we can get is apparently a deal that does little to nothing to address the deficit, national debt, or the debt ceiling.

The more we think about this, the more our attitude moves away from “faint praise” toward “sarcastic praise,” so rather than shoving this post full of snide, half-baked, uninformed commentary, we’ll leave you with an informative video that makes it all seem almost funny:

Your Inability to Punctuate is Making Things Worse

A word of advice: don’t ring the bell. Trust us.

Words That Changed the World: "The Drunkards' Chorus"

Lyrics, such as they are, and melody by Mickey MacConnell.

I Forgot My Phone

Courtesy of Charlene deGuzman